Giving Thanks

On Thanksgiving Day you’re supposed to give thanks instead of presents. Giving thanks is really more challenging than giving presents, because it involves looking inward, and in many cases the attitude of gratitude may not be visible to anyone else. In a year of unprecedented economic upheaval, an inventory of quiet inner blessings may be the perfect antidote to the fear, anger and blame about lost fortunes and an uncertain future.

Here are some ideas for outwardly expressing appreciation:

• Write thank you notes on Thanksgiving Day to anyone whom you would like to thank for anything at all. Handwritten notes are a treat to receive in this day of computerized communication, and an unexpected thank you multiplies the effect .
• Decorate your table with natural weeds or squash or gourds or leaves that you have collected on a fall walk. I thought of this one before being buried under an unexpected foot of snow in November! Noticing natural beauty is a simple way of being grateful.
• Have each person around the table on Thanksgiving Day express thanks for one thing they are personally thankful for. This sharing of thanks is inspiring, and can be more meaningful than listening to one person say grace.
• Invite someone who is in need of friendship or support to share your table.
• Call your family members who are unable to be with you at your Thanksgiving table. Everyone appreciates being remembered on a special day, and a simple phone call and holiday greeting will nearly always produce a smile and warm feelings.
  

You may be thinking that these suggestions are too obvious and too simple, but often the obvious is exactly what we overlook. And the most meaningful thankfulness of all still resides in our hearts when we take a quiet moment to reflect on the positive things in our lives.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Brand New

Brand New

The first hours and days of a baby’s life are so memorable for parents, brothers and sisters and grandparents. Our 7th grandchild, and 5th grandson, arrived on Sunday morning, November 9, at 7:47 a.m. He decided to arrive a bit early (his due date was December 16th,) but we were all ready to welcome him , and his mom was a little bit tired of bed rest, so he decided to get the sands moving through the hourglass of his time on the face of the earth. Benjamin weighed 5 lbs. 13 ounces at birth, and he is 19 inches long. Although tiny, he is perfectly shaped, and has good color. He seems to be able to suckle, although he is not strong enough yet to pull effectively, so Pirrie is pumping after each feeding to stimulate the milk production, and help him grow.
This is our 3rd grandchild to be born in 2008, and it is always a MIRACLE. How perfectly each little hb (human being) is formed, and how efficiently each one operates. Taking those first breaths of oxygen, sipping those first drops of sustenance from the mother, all the while multiplying cells at a jet propulsion rate, it is so magnificent that we are overwhelmed with wonder every single time. How amazing that the complexity of living makes us nearly unaware of the mystery in the simple details of being alive: breathing, eating, eliminating what is not needed. Do you hear your heart beating? MARVELOUS!
Today I found myself reviewing with my 7-year-old grandson how the amount of milk produced by a mother adjusts to fit the needs of her baby. When the baby needs more, the mother’s body figures it out and produces more. My grandson thought this was very reassuring and, come to think of it, so do I!
The birth of a baby helps me see what really matters, and appreciate the wonderful, hopeful blend of old and new in a brand new life.

The Power of Smile

The power of SMILE
The first interactive signal we expect to receive from a newborn infant is a smile. When it happens, the smile receiver is delighted, and spreads the word. “She smiled at me!” The mamma brags “He smiles all of the time.” It’s one of the first milestone accomplishments, right up there with suckling and sleeping.

So we know smiles are important for babies, but we seem to forget about it when we “grow up.” I mean we know we’re supposed to smile, so we do whenever we’re facing a camera, but when we think we are not “on camera,” oh dear. . .Sit in an airport sometime and check out human faces. Our features grow longer with age, because we forget that smiling smoothes out the wrinkles and plumps up the cheeks. Smiles counteract the relentless gravity that draws our expressions ever downward. Just sneak a peek in the mirror sometime and you’ll see what I mean. A smiling face looks younger!

I told my teenaged daughters that smiles attract boys more than just about anything, because everyone feels a little better when someone smiles at them. I’m not talking about great big goofy gummy smiles, but just a little positive upturn of the mouth and the corners of eyes will do the trick. It says “You’re okay. We’re here in this spot at this moment and it’s okay with me.”

You’ll see it when someone yields for a car to pass in the grocery store parking lot, or when someone’s coming out of a door when you’re going in, or when you’re standing in a line somewhere, or when you pass a parent with a little baby, or when you see an elderly person gamely making her way up the aisle in the drug store. And, if you’re tuned in, you’ll probably smile back, acknowledging the kind look from the other human being. A smile has real power; it makes people feel better about being human beings. It makes any human face look better. It make any moment a better moment.

So I say, don’t just celebrate smiles from newborn infants. Celebrate smiles from anybody kind enough to give one, and always, always give one back.

"Quiet Time"

The older I get the more I realize the value of quiet time. I mean the kind of quiet time where you are not DOING anything at all. I mean the kind of quiet time where you are not with another person, you are alone.

Some people accomplish this by meditating; others by prayer. I remember my mother used to “take a nap,” after lunch while I did. (I was raised by my maternal grandparents, so when I refer to my mother and dad, I am actually speaking about grandparents. My “mother” was 43 when I was born.) My own daughters took afternoon naps until kindergarten (age 5.) I didn’t care if they weren’t actually asleep; it was the quiet time that mattered. Some of the time they did sleep, and some of the time they did quiet things by themselves. I don’t remember anyone protesting about this “quiet time.”

When I hear mothers say a child simply will not take a nap, I wonder if they may be setting the bar too high. Maybe settling for “quiet time” would be enough, or would lead to actual sleep. And, if the child is not falling fast asleep, the rest time can always be shortened to 45 minutes or an hour.

Either way, harried moms benefit from ‘quiet time” too. Although it’s tempting to use the time for household chores, doing laundry or paying bills, mothers should insist on pampering themselves for this brief interlude.

Sip a cup of tea, read a magazine, take a bubble bath, fall asleep! No phone calls, emails, exercise routines or television. No telling yourself, ‘It’s the only time I have!’ to get something done!

Recent research suggests that during sleep we process information that we have accumulated during the day. Sleep helps us think more clearly, keeps our brains a bit more organized. I think quiet time, which may include sleep, has similar benefits.

Resumé

In the beginning we were two humans and two cats, and then, we grew. After 44 years we are 14, almost 15, humans, 4 cats, and 2 dogs. My granny nanny portfolio includes 3 daughters, 3 sons-in-law, 4 (almost 5) grandsons ages 9, 7, 3, and 2, and 2 brand new granddaughters born this year in March and September.

Now that I am 2/3 of the way to 100, I've lived through some stuff. Good stuff, and, of course, bad stuff. I've got observations about this real life experience, and I've learned a lot. I'm still learning, and I expect to learn more during the rest of my time on the face of the earth. So it seems like a fun idea to open up a blog to share intergenerational ideas about home and family. In the past grannies often lived under the same roof as their children and generations overlapped naturally, right at home. Today, we are more spread out, our lives are more frenetic, and the generations don't manage to listen to each other as much. I'm inviting anyone who has questions about home and family, and would like to hear from grannies about what worked or didn't work for them, to join our extended family in the blogosphere. We can talk about cooking, cleaning, gardening, relationships, and raising happy, successful kids. Welcome to Granny Nanny Times!