The Power of Smile

The power of SMILE
The first interactive signal we expect to receive from a newborn infant is a smile. When it happens, the smile receiver is delighted, and spreads the word. “She smiled at me!” The mamma brags “He smiles all of the time.” It’s one of the first milestone accomplishments, right up there with suckling and sleeping.

So we know smiles are important for babies, but we seem to forget about it when we “grow up.” I mean we know we’re supposed to smile, so we do whenever we’re facing a camera, but when we think we are not “on camera,” oh dear. . .Sit in an airport sometime and check out human faces. Our features grow longer with age, because we forget that smiling smoothes out the wrinkles and plumps up the cheeks. Smiles counteract the relentless gravity that draws our expressions ever downward. Just sneak a peek in the mirror sometime and you’ll see what I mean. A smiling face looks younger!

I told my teenaged daughters that smiles attract boys more than just about anything, because everyone feels a little better when someone smiles at them. I’m not talking about great big goofy gummy smiles, but just a little positive upturn of the mouth and the corners of eyes will do the trick. It says “You’re okay. We’re here in this spot at this moment and it’s okay with me.”

You’ll see it when someone yields for a car to pass in the grocery store parking lot, or when someone’s coming out of a door when you’re going in, or when you’re standing in a line somewhere, or when you pass a parent with a little baby, or when you see an elderly person gamely making her way up the aisle in the drug store. And, if you’re tuned in, you’ll probably smile back, acknowledging the kind look from the other human being. A smile has real power; it makes people feel better about being human beings. It makes any human face look better. It make any moment a better moment.

So I say, don’t just celebrate smiles from newborn infants. Celebrate smiles from anybody kind enough to give one, and always, always give one back.

"Quiet Time"

The older I get the more I realize the value of quiet time. I mean the kind of quiet time where you are not DOING anything at all. I mean the kind of quiet time where you are not with another person, you are alone.

Some people accomplish this by meditating; others by prayer. I remember my mother used to “take a nap,” after lunch while I did. (I was raised by my maternal grandparents, so when I refer to my mother and dad, I am actually speaking about grandparents. My “mother” was 43 when I was born.) My own daughters took afternoon naps until kindergarten (age 5.) I didn’t care if they weren’t actually asleep; it was the quiet time that mattered. Some of the time they did sleep, and some of the time they did quiet things by themselves. I don’t remember anyone protesting about this “quiet time.”

When I hear mothers say a child simply will not take a nap, I wonder if they may be setting the bar too high. Maybe settling for “quiet time” would be enough, or would lead to actual sleep. And, if the child is not falling fast asleep, the rest time can always be shortened to 45 minutes or an hour.

Either way, harried moms benefit from ‘quiet time” too. Although it’s tempting to use the time for household chores, doing laundry or paying bills, mothers should insist on pampering themselves for this brief interlude.

Sip a cup of tea, read a magazine, take a bubble bath, fall asleep! No phone calls, emails, exercise routines or television. No telling yourself, ‘It’s the only time I have!’ to get something done!

Recent research suggests that during sleep we process information that we have accumulated during the day. Sleep helps us think more clearly, keeps our brains a bit more organized. I think quiet time, which may include sleep, has similar benefits.

Resumé

In the beginning we were two humans and two cats, and then, we grew. After 44 years we are 14, almost 15, humans, 4 cats, and 2 dogs. My granny nanny portfolio includes 3 daughters, 3 sons-in-law, 4 (almost 5) grandsons ages 9, 7, 3, and 2, and 2 brand new granddaughters born this year in March and September.

Now that I am 2/3 of the way to 100, I've lived through some stuff. Good stuff, and, of course, bad stuff. I've got observations about this real life experience, and I've learned a lot. I'm still learning, and I expect to learn more during the rest of my time on the face of the earth. So it seems like a fun idea to open up a blog to share intergenerational ideas about home and family. In the past grannies often lived under the same roof as their children and generations overlapped naturally, right at home. Today, we are more spread out, our lives are more frenetic, and the generations don't manage to listen to each other as much. I'm inviting anyone who has questions about home and family, and would like to hear from grannies about what worked or didn't work for them, to join our extended family in the blogosphere. We can talk about cooking, cleaning, gardening, relationships, and raising happy, successful kids. Welcome to Granny Nanny Times!