Children learn by imitation. Babies begin by imitating sounds, and later they imitate phrases like the expletives adults release when something drastic happens.
Once one of our daughters and her best friend scrawled "Mrs. Smith (name changed to protect everybody!) is a P-i-t-c-h." across a playground wall. They were in the first grade, and did not even know what the word they were trying for meant, but they had heard it somewhere (definitely not at home!) and thought they were being hilarious. And, because they got it wrong, it was kind of funny, unless you were Mrs. Smith!
In addition to sounds, children learn from what they see, and they are keen observers. If you tell a child to be polite, they may not pay any attention, but if you demonstrate politeness they will learn, eventually. I heard Michael Lewis, who has written a new book called Home Game: An Accidental Guide to Fathering (http://tinyurl.com/mlb7ab,) speaking on The Daily Show recently, and he said that what children remember about their parents is how they are, not what they are.
I think that all of our daughters enjoy making art as adults because they grew up watching parents who made art and seemed to enjoy it. They all enjoy reading , and they like to cook too. Our grandsons love sports , because their dad is passionate about sports.
Attitudes are also important. Children who grow up around adults who demonstrate prejudice and defiance will usually have similar perspectives. That is why it takes generations to move beyond the effects of civil strife and abusive governments.
Coping mechanisms are another opportunity for parents to teach by example. Children watch you deal with life’s challenges and learn how to handle a crisis. What do you do when the going gets tough?
If you want to influence the children in your life, pay attention to “how you are,” and make the necessary adjustments in yourself.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Technological Magic
Okay, this blog idea is time consuming, and even during the month of February while we were absolutely snowed in, life remained remarkably busy, as I kept writing my feature articles for the Holland Sentinel and neglecting my blog. Blogging takes self discipline, something I always need to work on. It should have been at the top of my New Year's resolution list, but I neglected that list too. Bad girl!
We have developed a new favorite pastime during the blog hiatus, though. It’s called Skyping with grandchildren, and it makes even the darkest day brighten up and smile. If you haven’t tried this incredible technological development, it is definitely easy to master, and not to be missed. You simply dial up other Skype members, and they open their computers (you both must have an operative web camera,) and BINGO − there they are to chat with you. With grandchildren this is a magical gift, because your grandchildren can see you, and they begin to recognize you and do adorable things like clap their hands, or smile widely, or enunciate syllables like Na-Na (our grandchildren are mostly babies.) It’s irresistible for everyone involved!
The other more subtle feature of these exchanges is that you get to see your darlings in their own familiar surroundings, doing familiar things like eating breakfast (because we have a 3 hour time zone difference with some of the babies,) and facing life’s little trials like runny noses and sleepiness. You also get to share with your own dear children their everyday thoughts, hopes, dreams and challenges as they grow into parenthood. It is an amazingly successful means of communicating in a natural, unscripted way.
There are so many available means to communicate now that it often seems we are all victims of information overload. The open and seemingly unlimited access allows unsolicited E-mails, phone messages on land lines and cell phones, text messages, unsolicited faxes, and even U-Tube exposures of a wide range of intimacies about people we hardly know or do not know at all. It can be overwhelming. Skyping with grandchildren is a refreshing antidote to all of this, and makes the wonder of technology outweigh the nuisance and seem worth it after all.
We have developed a new favorite pastime during the blog hiatus, though. It’s called Skyping with grandchildren, and it makes even the darkest day brighten up and smile. If you haven’t tried this incredible technological development, it is definitely easy to master, and not to be missed. You simply dial up other Skype members, and they open their computers (you both must have an operative web camera,) and BINGO − there they are to chat with you. With grandchildren this is a magical gift, because your grandchildren can see you, and they begin to recognize you and do adorable things like clap their hands, or smile widely, or enunciate syllables like Na-Na (our grandchildren are mostly babies.) It’s irresistible for everyone involved!
The other more subtle feature of these exchanges is that you get to see your darlings in their own familiar surroundings, doing familiar things like eating breakfast (because we have a 3 hour time zone difference with some of the babies,) and facing life’s little trials like runny noses and sleepiness. You also get to share with your own dear children their everyday thoughts, hopes, dreams and challenges as they grow into parenthood. It is an amazingly successful means of communicating in a natural, unscripted way.
There are so many available means to communicate now that it often seems we are all victims of information overload. The open and seemingly unlimited access allows unsolicited E-mails, phone messages on land lines and cell phones, text messages, unsolicited faxes, and even U-Tube exposures of a wide range of intimacies about people we hardly know or do not know at all. It can be overwhelming. Skyping with grandchildren is a refreshing antidote to all of this, and makes the wonder of technology outweigh the nuisance and seem worth it after all.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Create A Happy Past
Happy New Year!
Yes, it’s true that I let myself be swept away by the holidays, and have neglected my blog for the past month, but it was worth it, creating and celebrating and enjoying friends and family. I made cookies and candy and Christmas bread, knit girlie hats for my two new girl grandbabies, decorated our home for Christmas, designed and created , printed and mailed a Christmas newsletter, ordered and shopped , wrapped and shipped Christmas presents, hummed carols and attended advent church services with my husband, John, and celebrated the season with friends before driving 1200 miles to celebrate with two of our three daughters and their families.
I am sorry that our third daughter’s family could not be part our gathering this year; travel with three babies ages 2, 3 and 4 mos. is nearly impossible. Still we thought of them with love, and sympathized with the memorable holiday they were experiencing far away: their family was stricken with a flu bug that tore through their holidays. My family has suffered at least two holidays like that, and they are definitely memorable, but not in a good way.
The season of faith and hope and love and joy celebrates qualities that are especially important in this year full of uncertainties. As time passes (read I grow older) I realize more than ever that one needs to live in the moment. I try to let myself enjoy it, savor it, because in each minute I am creating my past. I’ve never been good at committing words that I love to memory, but I remember quite a few Paul Simon lyrics. One that I actually carry around so that it’s handy is “Preserve your memories, they’re all that’s left you.” Now my daughters accuse me of having “selective memory,” because I automatically delete bad stuff that happens, but that’s what works for me. I try not to let unhappy times crowd out the wonderful days I’ve had on the face of the earth. For me, time spent with the next generations is always precious time, time to share and enjoy and celebrate.
So happy new year to you. May you create many happy memories, a wonderful past.
Yes, it’s true that I let myself be swept away by the holidays, and have neglected my blog for the past month, but it was worth it, creating and celebrating and enjoying friends and family. I made cookies and candy and Christmas bread, knit girlie hats for my two new girl grandbabies, decorated our home for Christmas, designed and created , printed and mailed a Christmas newsletter, ordered and shopped , wrapped and shipped Christmas presents, hummed carols and attended advent church services with my husband, John, and celebrated the season with friends before driving 1200 miles to celebrate with two of our three daughters and their families.
I am sorry that our third daughter’s family could not be part our gathering this year; travel with three babies ages 2, 3 and 4 mos. is nearly impossible. Still we thought of them with love, and sympathized with the memorable holiday they were experiencing far away: their family was stricken with a flu bug that tore through their holidays. My family has suffered at least two holidays like that, and they are definitely memorable, but not in a good way.
The season of faith and hope and love and joy celebrates qualities that are especially important in this year full of uncertainties. As time passes (read I grow older) I realize more than ever that one needs to live in the moment. I try to let myself enjoy it, savor it, because in each minute I am creating my past. I’ve never been good at committing words that I love to memory, but I remember quite a few Paul Simon lyrics. One that I actually carry around so that it’s handy is “Preserve your memories, they’re all that’s left you.” Now my daughters accuse me of having “selective memory,” because I automatically delete bad stuff that happens, but that’s what works for me. I try not to let unhappy times crowd out the wonderful days I’ve had on the face of the earth. For me, time spent with the next generations is always precious time, time to share and enjoy and celebrate.
So happy new year to you. May you create many happy memories, a wonderful past.
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